


I Loved You First

by eversinceniall



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Depression, F/M, Fake Relationship, Friends With Benefits (But not really), Hurt, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love, beard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-26
Updated: 2014-09-26
Packaged: 2018-02-18 19:39:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2359883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eversinceniall/pseuds/eversinceniall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry didn't always feel this way towards his best friend and band mate, Louis Tomlinson. No, he didn't even think that he liked boys. He always had had girlfriends. But when he met Louis in the bathroom, he was instantly drawn to him. It was strange. Louis and him had a relationship that no one understood. They were closer then the other boys. They just had this connection. It was unexplainable.</p>
<p> Harry started realizing his unusal feelings in the summer of 2011. It was a crush at the time but he decided he should tell Louis anyway. After all they had told eachother everything. But when he finally got the courage to share his feelings, Louis had come home that night talking about this girl that he met. He told Harry he really liked her. Harry didn't want to ruin that for Louis. Soon, Louis started to date her. Her name is Eleanor. So Harry attempted to push his feelings away and be happy for Louis. Now it's 2014 and his feelings had only grown over the years. He's offically in love with Louis Tomlinson. But Louis is still with Eleanor...</p>
<p>(Summary sucks, sorry lol :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Loved You First

**Author's Note:**

> So I started this back in July of 2013 and it was my first ever Larry story and around the time I had just entered the fandom and started getting into writing, so it might be bad, and although I edited it, I'm sorry for any errors, mistakes, etc. Anyway, enjoy! :) (By the way, I'm sorry for the Niall/Zayn/Liam thing and the lack of detail about their relationship. At the time, I knew I wanted to have a side pairing and I had some Ot3 feels, and I didn't really think it through, so yeah. Also, it's in first person pov, ew. )

Harry's POV 

 

 

I wake up in my bed with the covers on the ground, I'm freezing. I pick them up off the floor and put them back on the bed. I still live with Louis. Although recently he has mentioned that maybe he should move out and live with Eleanor.

 

Eleanor.

 

They have been together for over two years now, and Louis is very happy with her. So it is quite obvious, that by how strong their relationship is, that they are not going to be breaking up any time soon. Which sucks for me.

I get out of bed, and grab some clothes from my closet. Then I go to the bathroom and get changed.

Heading to the kitchen, I hear two voices. One is Louis and the other is Eleanor. I try to hide my grim expression with a bright smile. It must work because when Louis sees me he smiles back.

"Hey, Haz!" He greets happily.

Eleanor stands there, behind Louis. She glares at me, without Louis noticing. Eleanor knows that I like Louis. I don't think that she knows I love him but she knows something, because she has been giving me dirty looks the last couple months. So she must suspect that I have feelings for Louis. I've no idea how she knows, but if she can see it, why can't Louis?

"Hey Lou!" I say with fake cheerfulness.

I've always thought I'm a bad liar, but I must be pretty good at it, because I've been lying about my happiness for a while, and no one can see through it. Which hurts because Louis always used to be able to tell when I was lying.

But now, I guess I just don't matter as much. I haven't REALLY mattered to Louis since he met Eleanor. When he met her, and they started dating, I thought that it was nothing serious.

But then they got serious, and Louis became annoyed, rude, and defensive to the Larry Shippers. He started to ignore me, not sit next to me during interviews, and practically stopped being affectionate with me in public.

I understand that Louis doesn't want the Larry Shippers to send hate to Eleanor, calling her a beard, and much worse. But he should think about how I feel.

And it really does hurt when he fiercely denies Larry, especially when he acts like being gay is a terrible, horrible thing. When Louis became infatuated with her, is when I knew that I probably had no chance with him.

Louis stands beside Eleanor, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him. She smiles softly, leaning in to his touch. He smiles too, looking down at her fondly.

I take a deep breathe trying to calm the frantic beating of my heart. I hate having to watch him love her. So much. Because, I want to be the one he loves, and I know I could love him so much more then her. I want him to love me like he loves her.

I'm startled out of my thoughts by Louis speaking, "El and I are going out to eat. I'll be back later. Bye!"

He gets his coat on, and then helps Eleanor get hers on. He then takes her hand and they walk out the door.

"Bye." I say weakly, though they are already gone. He doesn't even wait for me to respond. I decide to visit Niall since Zayn is out with Liam..

Today is a free day, and we have nothing to do. So I might as well hangout with Nialler.

I get my keys out of my room and go outside. I get in the car, and start driving towards Niall's place. I get there in about twenty minutes. I walk up to the door, knock, and wait. Niall opens it up after a minute or so.

"Hi, Harry!" He exclaims, hugging me.

I hug back, and then he pulls away and opens the door for me to go in.

I step into his flat, take off my shoes, and then my jacket. I take a seat on the sofa, as Niall closes the door. He sits beside me.

"Sooo....? Where's Louis?" He asks.

I sigh. "He's with Eleanor." I say her name with disgust.

Niall raises an eyebrow.

"I've always known you don't like her. So tell what's wrong?"

He sounds hopeful. I've never told anyone how Eleanor looks at me. But mostly because I doubt they would believe me. She acts sweet and innocent to everyone else. But how am I supposed to explain to Niall that the reason she hates me is because I'm in love with her boyfriend?

I take a deep breath, "I guess I'm jealous." I say without giving too much away.

Niall looks confused. "Why? You see Louis all the time! You live with him. Also she can't come on tour with us, so she hardly sees him."

Its now or never. I've been in love with Louis for three years, and never told anyone. Niall is the most trustworthy, at least when he's not drunk, so why not?

I shrug, "Do you want the truth? You can't tell anyone, not even Louis." I say hoping he'll say that I don't have to tell him.

He nods, "I won't tell anyone, I swear."

I'm quiet for a second, but then I say "I'm in love with Louis." My voice comes out steady, which is surprising because I expected it to be shaky.

Niall is quiet for a long time and I get up to leave, but he grabs my arm. He doesn't look shocked, surprised, or even stunned.

"I knew it. I had a feeling," Niall tells me simply.

I blink rapidly, shocked. "What?"

Niall makes me sit down again. "I could tell by the way you look at him with so much adoration and love. I knew it. Also how you always like to be touching him."

I hug him tightly, thankful that he isn't angry or upset with me.

"Why did you never say anything?" I ask curious as to why he would not ask about it if he had assumptions.

"I guess I was just waiting for you to be ready to tell me." Niall replies, pulling away, "how long though?"

I know he's asking how long I've been in love with Louis, so I decide to be honest..

"Since 2011." I answer truthfully.

He gapes at me. "That long!? Why did you never tell him?!" Niallhalf-shouts in surprise.

"I was going to tell him. Then he started dating Eleanor. I didn't want to ruin that for him. He might have hated me anyway." I admit.

"First of all, he had just met her. He didn't love her. So you should have told him before it was too late. Second of all, he could NEVER, and I mean NEVER hate you. Maybe he loves you back." Niall says smiling at the end.

"But he's in love with Eleanor.." I say.

"Maybe he just hasn't realized he's actually in love with you."

Niall smiles, then his expression gets serious. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course, Nialler. You can tell me anything." I smile at him reassuringly.

Niall's quiet for a moment, and I know he's deciding whether or not to tell me.

Eventually, he speaks, "I like someone."

I smile brightly, Niall hasn't dated anyone in quite a while. The last time he dated someone was a year and a half ago. Her name was Lana. She was quite pretty and I know he really liked her.

But they dated for a couple months, then they broke it off. He had never made their relationship public, because he was scared that she would get hate. Niall had told me that their relationship 'just wasn't working.'

"Who?" I ask excitedly.

"I can't tell you that right now. Maybe later? I'm just not ready." Niall says.

"It's fine. You can tell me when you're ready. No pressure." I say.

Niall grins. "Let's go get lunch, yeah?"

I nod. "Yeah. I'm starving."

 

 

 

Niall and I decided to go to Nando's. Well, actually, he practically made me. I had wanted to go somewhere else for a change, but nope he had to have his Nandos. He begged me until I finally gave in. Honestly, I'm quite sick of going to Nando's but I just can't say no to Niall.

After we order our food, and sign some CDs from fans, we sit down and start to talk.

Niall asks me, "How did you know you were in love with Louis?"

Why does he want to know?

Ehh, Niall is just odd like that.

I decide to tell him anyway. I sigh, thinking of all the thinks I love about Louis.

"There are a lot of different reasons. Do you still want to hear them?" I ask.

Niall nods. "Yeah, yeah. Tell me."

Then I start the list, "I love his smile. His real smile. Because sometimes he fakes his smile when he's not really happy. I love how good he smells. I love his laugh. It's beautiful. I love when he sings. He sounds amazing, even though he thinks he's bad or that he somehow messed up. I love his sense of humor, he can always make me laugh, even when I'm unhappy.

He can always cheer me up. I love how he's kind, and how much he loves his family. I love his eyes. They are so blue, and I can get lost in them. I love how caring, and affectionate he is. How he trusts me, and tells me everything. I love how on some days, he clings to me like a lifeline. I love when he tells me he loves me, even if it simply platonic. I love when he calls me Haz or Hazza. I love the days when he actually spends time with me, instead of Eleanor."

Once I've finished, Niall doesn't say anything, just sits there in shock. I wave my hand in front of his face, and he snaps out of it. "Wow. That was....Impressive....and...Shocking. You really love him, don't you?"

"Of course. More than anything." I answer truthfully.

Then he mumbles something I don't hear but it sounds like he says something about being in love.

"Do you really think that he might love me back?" I ask, my voice hopeful.

Niall doesn't hesitate with his answer. "Yes. Have you seen the way he looks at you?"

I shake my head. "No, How does he look at me?"

"The same way you look at him. With so much love, and tenderness." Niall replies.

I laugh sadly. "But he's been with Eleanor so long."

Niall nods. "Yeah, he has. But did you ever think that maybe he doesn't really love her? That he just thinks he does because he doesn't want to believe his feelings for you are real?"

"I never thought of that. But I doubt it's true." Then, "How did you become so smart, Nialler?" I ask jokingly.

"Natural talent." Niall grins.

"Ready to go?" Niall asks when we have finished eating.

Well, when I've finished eating. Niall had just sat there after finishing his food way before me, and started stealing my food.

"Yeah." I agree.

 

 

 

 

Niall and I had went back to his place for a little while and watched some movies, and joking around. But at 7:00 PM, I told him that I had to go. When I got home, Louis was back, and thankfully, Eleanor wasn't there. Louis sat on the couch watching some comedy show. He didn't hear the door close or me walk in, so I sneak up behind him.

"You should lock the door!" I whisper in his ear.

He jumps in shock, and almost falls off the couch.. "Oh my god, you scared me!" He pouts. ''Where were you? I've been home for a while, and I thought we could do something. Go out to eat?"

I shake my head. "Meh, I went to Niall's and we hung out for a bit. No, it's okay, I'm not really hungry anyway, I went out to Nandos with Nialler."

Louis' smile fades a bit, and he looks disappointed.

Feeling bad, I quickly add, "Sure. Why not? Where to?"

Louis grins, "It's a surprise!"

It's not much of a surprise. Louis had drove there, making me cover my eyes. When, really, I didn't need to. Louis took me to Rosso's. Louis and me love this place. Once we are seated, and eating our food, Louis asks, "Why didn't you want to hangout with me today?"

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, "What?" I ask.

"Well, you spent the whole day with Niall." He responds.

"You went out with Eleanor, and I was lonely. So I decided to visit Niall." I say, not hiding the disgust in my voice when talking about Eleanor.

"Yeah. Just for lunch, though. I thought we would spend the day together." Louis says disappointedly.

"Well, I'm sorry that I didn't want to wait for you. How was I supposed to know that it was just for lunch? You never want to spend time with me anymore, so I guess I've grown used to it!" I snap, immediately regretting it.

Louis' frowns. "We do still spend time together." He states, like it's a fact.

 

How can he not notice that we HARDLY ever do stuff together.

"Not really. Most of the time, I'm all alone, while you're out with Eleanor." I say quietly, looking down at my hands.

"I guess I've been busy." He says, then, "I'm going to propose to El."

To me, it feels like time stops. Freezes. My heart is beating rapidly, and I can't hardly breathe. Louis. Eleanor. Engaged. How can he marry her? How? I should have told him of my feelings long ago, before he started dating Eleanor. Because now, I'm pretty sure I have no chance. Niall was wrong. If he loved me, he wouldn't be getting engaged to Eleanor. I know she'll say yes. Of course she will. I sometimes wonder if she even loves him at all. Or if she's just in it for the fame.

But I do know, that right now, my heart is breaking. And in that moment, I feel like the entire world stops, waiting for my next move. My breathe catches in my throat. Louis' looking at me like he's waiting for me to congratulate him on his soon to be engagement.

But I don't.

Instead, I sit there in shock, hurt, anger, and heartbroken silence.

"Well...?" Louis urges me to say something, anything. I don't want to speak, afraid the tears will come on if I do.

"N-no. I can't. Can't do this much longer." I croak out, my voice is weak and filled with pain. I'm not sure exactly what I'm talking about but I know that I understand it deep within. Louis' face turning into one of confusion and concern.

The way he's look looking at me, soft, worried, and caring, hurts. He cares NOW, when he couldn't give a shit about me before.

I hurriedly push my chair back and stand up. "I can't do this anymore, Lou. I-I'm sorry." I say, this time knowing exactly what I'm talking about. I have to give up on him.

He stand up too, but slower. "Can't do what, Haz?" Louis asks worriedly. I feel my heart break a little more when he says one of my Nicknames.

Knowing he's waiting for a answer, I'm quick to say, "I can't tell you. You'll hate me."

Louis frowns, "Hate you? I could never hate you." He smiles reassuringly.

I know that he will hate me anyway. But this is my only chance to tell him. So I do.

"You will hate me. But I'll tell you." I pause trying to find the words to tell him.

Then, I continue, "I love you." Is what I say, hoping he will understand what I mean.

Louis' doesn't hesitate to tell me that he loves me too. "I love you too. But how will that make me hate you?"

"I just. Never mind." I say.

He doesn't understand that I'm in love with him. And I'm not really ready to tell him, and have our friendship ruined completely. I start to walk out. He doesn't come after me. I had expected him to run after me, call my name, or tell me to stop. But life's not a fairytale. That hurts. I wanted him to.

Chapter 2

Feeling horrible, I had walked around aimlessly, somehow ending up at Niall's door. I knock on the door, and wait for him to open it. About a minute later he does.

Seeing my tear stained cheeks, and slightly red and puffy eyes, he frowns, "What's wrong, Haz?"

He moves aside, letting me step into his place. I sit on the sofa, as he closes the door. He sits next to me, and waits for me to speak.

"When I got back, Louis was home. He asked me if I wanted to go out to eat somewhere. So we went to Rosso's. We kind of got into a fight about how he doesn't spend time with me anymore. He said he's been busy. And you know what else he said?"

Niall shakes his head. "What did he say?"

I take in a deep breathe. "He's going to propose to her." I choke out.

Niall gasps. "What? Since when? How can he do this? You don't deserve this. You know what? He doesn't deserve you. You're so much better than him." Niall rambles on angrily.

I cut him off from rambling anymore, "I tried to tell him."

Niall stops his pacing around the living room, "You mean, that you love him?"

"Yes." I answer. "After he said that he was proposing to her. I got upset, and wouldn't say anything or congratulate him. He asked what was wrong. I said if I told him he would hate me. He said he wouldn't hate me. Then I said that I loved him. He didn't understand so I walked out."

 

Niall hugs me, startling me. "You weren't ready to tell him?"

I shake my head. "Not yet. I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell him. I wish that I hadn't fell for him of all people. But he's just so perfect."

Niall nods, "I know what you mean. That's exactly how I feel about Z-" He cuts himself off.

"About who?" I question suspiciously.

"N-no one." He stutters nervously.

"You know you can tell me anything, right Niall?"

He quickly nods. "I know."

He had almost told me who he likes.

"Please tell me? You know I won't tell anyone." I promise.

Niall sighs. "Okay. I'll tell you who I like. But you better not tell anyone." He pauses for a moment, then continues, "I like..." He whispers it softly, and I can't hear what he says.

" Niall, I couldn't hear you. Speak up?" I tell him.

"Fine. I like...Zayn.." Niall says cautiously. I feel my eyes widen, and my mouth fall open.

"What?! You like Zayn!?" I ask in surprise. I honestly didn't expect this.

Hell, I thought Niall was straight.

"But you....you're straight?" I say.

"No. Well. I don't think I am. I do like girls. But I prefer guys." Niall says, his cheeks tinted pink.

"What? Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I just did." Niall jokes.

"No, I'm serious." I say.

"I thought you already knew. I mean, I'm surprised you haven't noticed me staring at Zayn. Liam has, and I don't think he's happy about it."

"You probably should try to distance yourself from Zayn. It's just a crush right now, isn't it?"

Niall nods his head in confirmation.

"Good. You can still get over it. Cause if Liam knows you like his boyfriend, he'll go batshit crazy on ya." I say.

"But he's sooo pretty. I just can't resist." Niall says jokingly.

I laugh, "I know he's pretty. But do you actually like him, or is it just lust? Because if it's lust you'll get over it fast. And if you don't let your crush on Zayn develop anymore than it already has, you'll get over it, too. You just don't want to let it turn into full-blown love because then you'll be in my situation, and trust me, it's not a situation you want to be in."

"I think it's a crush. Because, yeah, Zayn's really hot. But I'm more interested in him. Like, I admire the small things about him. Like the way his eyes get brighter when someone mentions his family. Or how focused he is when he's working on his art. And how his voice is perfect and he can hit all the high notes without messing up." Niall says, and he's blushing pink again.

"You definitely need to get over this crush. It's only going to get you hurt." I say.

Niall stays quiet, seeming deep in thought. Then, "What if we get over Zayn and Louis by liking someone else?"

I snort, "Trust me, going out and sleeping with random strangers doesn't help. I've tried it."

"What if they're not strangers?" Niall asks softly.

"Wait....do you mean..."

"You and me. We can use each other to get over them. Maybe we can fall for each other." Niall suggests.

"You mean, us dating or like friends with benefits thing?" I ask.

"Whichever you want. But I suggest we tell the boys we're dating so they don't get suspicious about us randomly snogging." Niall says.

"Hey, hey. Slow down. I haven't agreed yet."

"Well? Yes or no?" Niall demands.

"Fine. Okay. But let's start slow. Test it out and all." I say.

"So should we kiss now or...?" Niall asks awkwardly.

"I guess so." I agree, and scoot closer to Niall on the sofa.

I close my eyes and then I lean forward and press my lips to his.

It's hesitant at first. Niall's lips are chapped but somehow still soft. I part my lips and our mouths move together in sync. It's not Louis, but it's still nice. I push my mouth harder against his, swipping my tongue against his bottom lip. He parts his lips more, and our tongues meet. We snog for a few minutes until we both pull away for air.

"So?" Niall asks, his eyes fluttering open.

"That was nice.. I think we can do this. As long as you promise it won't make things awkward." I say.

Niall laughs, "Nothing's awkward when I'm around."

"Wait. If we tell the boys we're just messing around, they'll be all worried and say that we might fall in love, blah blah. So we're going to tell them we're dating?" I ask.

"Yep. Exactly. We can do it tomorrow, to get it over with. Plus, we have tomorrow off, so." Niall agrees.

"I feel bad about lying." I say truthfully.

"It's only temporary, okay?"

"Okay." I say.

 

* * *  
After deciding to spend the night at Niall's, we agreed that today we're going to tell the boys. Niall already invited them to his flat to 'hang out' and they all agreed to come.

"They're here!" I shout to Niall from the kitchen.

"Okay!" Niall comes over to me and grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers. When I shoot him a confused glance, he says, "We've got to make it believable."

I nod. "I'm scared. What if they figure out we're lying?" I say.

"It'll be okay. They won't know weren't not really dating unless we tell them so."

Niall opens the door and Louis rushes in. My heart flutters in my chest and I squeeze Niall's hand hard. He squeezes back in a comforting gesture.

"I thought you were going to make us wait out there forever." Louis exclaims, as Zayn and Liam walk in behind him.

We stand in awkward silence, no one saying anything.

Zayn looks to Niall and I's intertwined hands and wrinkles his eyebrow in confusion.

"What are you doing here already, H?" Louis asks, not yet noticing mine and Niall's hands.

"Yeah, why are you here before us?" Zayn asks, his tone sharp.

Wow, is someone jealous?

I cough awkwardly. "I, uhm, I spent the night here."

"Do you guys want some tea?" Niall asks, quickly changing the topic to get the attention off of me

"Sure." Both Liam and Louis agree.

"Nah I'm fine." Zayn says.

Niall let's go of my hand to go make the tea, and Louis' eyes shoot to where they were once interlaced. His gaze hardens, and suddenly I wish Niall was still in the room with me, so that I wouldn't feel so uncomfortable under Louis' harsh gaze.

"So why exactly did you invite us over?" Liam asks, oblivious.

"Just to hang out," I lie, "Y'know, since we have our break before the next tour, figured we should spend some time together."

Niall comes back into the room with two tea cups, handing one to Liam and the other one to Louis. Liam plops down on Niall's sofa, and Zayn and Louis follow somewhat slower. There's no more room on that couch so Niall and I sit on the one opposite of them.

There's silence again, except for the sound of Louis sipping his tea.

"Well...this is awkward. Why do I feel like this is some sort of intervention?" Liam finally says after a long period of time.

Niall and I glance at each other, and Liam finally realizes something's up.

"What's going on guys?" Liam asks, looking between us in suspicion.

Niall grasps my hand and I feel my heart stutter nervously. "We have something important to tell you.." Niall says, but he pauses, stuck.

"We're dating." I blurt out fast.

 

Zayn's jaw drops, literally. Liam gapes at us, and Louis drops his tea cup, which was made of glass, and it shatters everywhere. Louis stands up suddenly, takes one glance at us, and runs out of Niall's flat.

Silence.

"How long?" Zayn says eventually, and he looks...angry?

"Uh, we've only been officially dating for a couple of days now." I lie, following Niall and I's plan.

"Oh," Liam says, "But I thought that you and Louis-"

"He's with Eleanor." I say, interrupting Liam abruptly.

"But you still have feelings for him, don't you?" Liam insists.

"No," I say harshly, "I used to have a crush on him, but that's all it was, a crush. I'm over it and I'm over him. I'm with Niall now." I smile at Niall softly, trying to make it believable.

 

"He's in love with you, I think. I know, actually, not think. He calls me all the time saying that he misses you. When he was drunk, he called me and told me that he's in love with you. He rambled on and on about your pretty green eyes and curly hair." Liam says.

I feel my heart pounding frantically and it's so loud that I'm surprised no one else hears it.

"God, Liam! Shut up! Why are you telling me this now? Why fucking now that you find out I'm with Niall?!" I yell, genuinely pissed off. I can feel Niall and Zayn watching us intensely.

"Hey, calm down." Niall says from besides me, and he rubs my shoulder soothingly.

I stand up quickly, "No! I will not calm down! You want the truth? Huh, do you?" I growl and Liam and Zayn look at me with wide eyes.

"Niall and I aren't really dating! We have, no, had, a friends with benefits thing going on. Except all we did was kiss." I pause, seeing Zayn relax out of the corner of my eye.

"You," I point at Zayn, "if you like Niall, then you need to tell him! The reason we agreed to do this friends with benefits thing is because I'm in love with Louis and Niall likes someone he can't have, like me, so we were going to try to get over the people we have feelings for!

But then you come in here, saying Louis loves me, and blah, blah, blah. Well guess what? I'm tried of people telling me that Louis loves me because if he did, he wouldn't still be with Eleanor. If he missed me, then he would make time for me instead of walking around drinking Starbucks with his bitchy cunt of a girlfriend. And, Liam, you don't tell people's secrets, especially when they told you in confidence.

So if he loved me, he would tell me his fucking self. I don't need you guys getting involved in Louis and I's relationship. You guys are my best mates, but this is my fucking life and I do not need you interfering. You may be trying to help, but you're only making things worse, and personally, I am sick and tired of you're bullshit.

This is my life and these are my relationships you're ruining and I don't need you giving me shit advice unless I ask for it. So mind you're own fucking business! " I finish, taking a deep breath.

All the boys stare at me, as if not believing that I just screamed at them. They're eyes are wide and scared. Zayn's mouth is open in a perfect 'o'.

"Not much of that applied to you, Nialler. You're actually helpful." I say.

Leaning in, I whisper in Niall's ear, "You should tell Zayn you like him or else you're just going to be even more miserable. Especially with these nosy son of a bitches." I pat him on the head. As I make for the door, I hear Niall snort in laughter.

Then I leave Niall's flat with two boys staring after me in wonder, and one cackling loudly.

* * *

When I get to Louis and I's flat, I'm surprised to see Eleanor is there, and Louis' not.

"Hey, is- do you know where Louis is at?" Eleanor asks, shifting her feet awkwardly and avoiding my eyes.

"No, I just got back from Niall's." I reply.

"When he gets back, could you tell him I was here and that he needs to call me because it's important?" Eleanor asks.

I nod, "Sure. Okay."

I turn to go to my bedroom but Eleanor stops me by calling my name.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Areyouandlouistogether?" She says fast.

"Could you say that slower?" I ask, kindly.

Eleanor takes a deep breath, "Are you and Louis together?"

I stare at her in confusion, "What? No. I wouldn't do that. No, he's with you. Why would you ask that?"

"I, uhm, a couple nights ago, when Louis and I had sex, he....he called your name, Harry. A-and it's not the first time." Eleanor admits quietly, and she looks on the verge of tears.

I feel a strong wave of sympathy.

"Can I- could I hug you?" She asks, cautiously.

"Yeah. Yeah, you can hug me." I say.

Eleanor rushes forward, and she wraps her arms around my torso. I realize she's quite short, about the same height as Louis. I hesitate, putting my arms around her waist. I only know she's crying when she lets out a quiet sob and I feel my shirt damp with her tears.

"It's- I've never been with him, I promise. I'm not- I don't help people cheat. I'm sure it was an accident. He...he loves you." I say, even though it hurts to admit.

Suddenly, I'm reminded of Liam saying that Louis loves me, but I push the thought away.

Eleanor pulls away, wiping her tears away with her sweater. "I'm sorry. For bothering you. And crying all over your shirt."

"It's okay. I don't mind. I have like a whole closet of shirts that look exactly the same." I say.

"I- I'm going to go." She says.

"I'll tell him you were here. Bye, El." I offer a weak smile.

Eleanor smiles back but I can tell it's fake.

Suddenly I realize Eleanor's not that bad. And I now know why she is always glaring at me. She thought I was with Louis. I would hate me, too. She's not a bad person.

She's just worried her boyfriend is cheating on her.

 

* * *

Louis doesn't get back until 3 AM that night. He's drunk. Like, not proper wasted, but more than tipsy. I'm in my bedroom when I hear the front door open and I get up to go see if it's Louis.

It's completely dark in our flat, since all the lights are out. But I don't have trouble getting to the front door because I know my way around the flat, having lived in it so long.

My eyes are still adjusting to the darkness, but from the moonlight shining in though the windows, I can tell it's Louis. He must see me, too, because he mumbles out a, "Harry.."

"Lou. Louis, are you drunk?"

"No..I'm fine." Louis answers, but his words are slurred.

"C'mon, Lou. I'm gonna take you to bed, okay?" I say.

"Okay."

I grab Louis' hand and lead him to his room, across from mine.

"Noooo. I want to sleep with you, H." Louis protests.

"Fine." I say, realizing that he'll eventually crawl into bed with me in the middle of the night if I say no.

I crawl into bed and he gets into bed on the opposite side. We lay facing each other. I close my eyes, trying not to think about how if I were to move a little more forward, we'd be touching.

"H?" Louis says.

"Hmm?"

"W-why are you with Niall?" He asks carefully.

"M'not. We were having a friends with benefits thing going on, but we broke it off when I accidentally yelled at the Liam and Zayn and told them the truth." I admit.

"Friends with benefits?" Louis asks, and I can already tell he's jealous from his sharp tone.

"Yeah. But all we did was kiss once." I reassure him, and I don't know why.

"Oh."

It's quiet for a while and I start to doze off.

"I always thought you and I would end up together." Louis whispers, and I think he thinks I'm sleeping.

I open my eyes, and look at him. He's already looking at me.

"So did I," I agree, "but then you met Eleanor."

"I know." Louis says, then, "I don't love her."

I'm shocked by how sincere he sounds, "Yes, you do."

Louis shakes his head, "As a friend, yes, she's like my girl best friend. But nothing more."

"She loves you." I tell him.

"I know."

"You shouldn't lead her on like that."

"I never meant to. I thought I could love her..." Louis mumbles.

"Why would you date her if you didn't have feelings for her in the first place?" I ask.

Louis tenses beside me, "She was a distraction at first. After that, I couldn't break up with her because I knew it would hurt her."

"Oh... What was she a distraction from?"

" I can't tell you, Haz."

'That's okay." I say, but it's not really. "I'm going to go to sleep now. Goodnight, Lou."

"Goodnight."

I doze off after a couple minutes, but right before I fade out, I can hear Louis whisper, "She was a distraction from you. Because I'm in love with you."

 

* * *  
When I wake up, the first thought on my mind is 'Louis loves me'. I feel my heart beat excitedly.

Louis' not beside me when I wake up. I go into the kitchen and he's sitting at the table with a cup of tea.

It's silent for awhile, until I speak up.

"Louis? Could I talk to you?" I ask.

"You already are." Louis jokes, and he smiles but it looks fake.

"No, like, serious talk." I say.

"Of course." Louis says and he shifts nervously.

"Eleanor was here yesterday." I start off.

"Oh? She was?" Louis looks surprised.

"She said that you called my name when you were having sex. And it wasn't the first time." I say bluntly, but my insides churn nervously.

Louis pales, his face going chalk white. "Oh my god. Haz, I didn't mean it, I was just-"

I cut him off, "I heard you last night."

Louis pales even more, till he looks ghostly, "You...you heard that...?"

I nod, "Is it true?"

"Yes.." Louis says, and looks down, as if ashamed.

"You mean it?" I ask, in shock, and unable to believe it could be true.

"Yes! You don't need to rub it in." Louis snaps.

"No...I.." I tilt Louis' chin up so he'll look at me and our eyes meet. "Louis. I'm in love with you, too."

Louis pulls away, "God, don't joke around. It isn't funny!"

"Lou...I'm not joking. I've been in love with you since the X-Factor." I say.

Louis' eyes widen considerably and I see hope and excitement in them. "Y-you're serious? You're not kidding?"

I shake my head, "I'm so serious. I've alw-"

Louis cuts me off by kissing me.

And it's like no other kiss I've ever had. There's emotion, and depth. It's like a tingly feeling all over my body. I part my lips for him, and Louis licks into my mouth, our tongues swirling together in a dance.

Louis pulls away first, "I've wanted to do that since we met." He whispers.

"Me too." I agree.

"What about Eleanor?" I ask, suddenly remembering yesterday's events.

"I called her this morning and told her we need to talk and for her to come over tomorrow" Louis admits.

"Why?"

"I got tired of pretending to be in love with her. I'm going to break up with her tomorrow."

"Wow." I say, shocked.

"Yeah.." Louis says,

"But what about the engagement?" I ask.

"I never did it. It was like my last attempt at trying to make our relationship work but then I realized it could never work out because she would never be you."

There's a pause.

"What are we now?"

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused.

"Uh..do you want to be my boyfriend or...?" Louis asks, avoiding my gaze.

"Only if you'll be mine, too." I say.

And then this time, I'm the one who kisses him.

* * *  
Liam, Niall, Zayn, Louis, and I are all sitting on the sofa in Louis and I's flat.

 

"Soo.." Louis says.

"Louis and I are dating." I tell them.

Instantly they all cheer, and I'm surprised by their reactions.

They all shout at once,

"I told you so!"

"You own me fifty bucks!"

"I knew they'd end up together since the beginning!"

"Finally, I thought you guys would never figure it out!"

Niall pulls me aside while Louis deals with Zayn and Liam's loud cheering.

"Guess what?" Niall says excitedly.

"What?"

"I'm dating Zayn!"

"What about Liam?" I question, confused and slightly worried.

"I'm dating them both!"

"What? How does that work?"

"Like, we all date. So I kiss and hold hands and other couply things with Zayn AND Liam!"

"That's confusing, but if you're happy..."

" I am happy!" Niall exclaims, "I'll tell you more about it later. Let's go back to our boyfriends." Niall wiggles his eyebrows at the word 'boyfriends'.

I nod.

Once we get back to the other boys, Zayn and Liam start shouting " Kiss! KISS! KISS!" And then Niall joins in, too.

I turn to Louis, and he grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers.

"Shall we?" I ask.

Louis doesn't answer. Instead, he kisses me. I hear the boys yelling, but I block it out until it's background noise, and I kiss Louis back.

I've finally got the one person I've always wanted. I don't think my life could get better.  
I have the three most wonderful best friends I could ask for, and a perfect boyfriend. All those years of pining, eventually paid off, because I've got everything I'll ever need.


End file.
